1. Eighteenth- and nineteenth-century writers often viewed changes in the institutional surroundings of family life as crucial determinants of family change. See Ferdinand Tönnies, Community and Society, trans. Charles P. Loomis (New York: Harper and Row, 1963): Frederic LePlay, On Family, Work, and Social Change, ed. Catherine Bodard Silver (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1982); Herbert Spencer, The Principles of Sociology, 3d ed., vol. 1 (New York: D. Appleton and Co., 1895); Emile Durkheim, The Division of Labor in Society (New York: Free Press, 1933); Friedrich Engels, The Origin of the Family, Private Property, and the State (New York: International Publishers, 1969).

2. Carle C. Zimmerman, Family and Civilization (New York: Harper and Brothers, 1947); Carle C. Zimmerman and Lucius E Cervantes, Marriage and the Family (Chicago: Henry Regney Co., 1956) 38-39; Pitirim Sorokin, Crisis of Our Age (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1942), 187-92; Robert A. Nisbet, The Quest for Community (New York: Oxford University Press, 1953), 31, 70; Christopher Lasch, Haven in a Heartless Worm (New York: Basic Books, 1977), 143-47; Christopher Lasch, The Culture of Narcissism (New York: W. W. Norton, Warner Books, 1979), ch. 8; see Maurice Stein, Eclipse of Community (New York: Harper and Row, 1960).

3. Ernest R. Groves and Gladys Hoagland Groves, The Contempo-

rary American Family (Chicago: J. B. Lippincott Co., 1947); William Ogburn, "Changing Functions of the Family," The Family 19 (1938): 139-43; Ernest W. Burgess, "The Family in a Changing Society," American Journal of Sociology 53 (1948): 417-23; William M. Kephart, The Family, Society, and the Individual (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1961); Taleott Parsons, "The American Family: Its Relation to Personality and Social Structure," in Family, Socialization, and Interaction Process, Taleott Parsons and Robert E Bales (Gleneoe, III.: Free Press, 1955); Philip Slater, "Parental Role Differentiation," American Journal of Sociology 67 (1961): 296-311; Mary Jo Bane, Here to Stay (New York: Basic Books, 1976).

4. Taking exception to this statement, Smelser, Greenfield, Goode, Harevan, and Hartmann all suggest that variables such as kinship organization, household authority, and gender ideology shaped or mutually interacted with industrial and urban forms. Neff Smelser, Social Change in the Industrial Revolution (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1959); Sidney Greenfield, "Industrialization and Family in Social Theory," American Journal of Sociology 67 (1961); William J. Goode, Worm Revolution and Family Patterns (New York: Free Press, 1963); Tamara K. Harevan, "Family Time and Industrial Time: Family and Work in a Planned Corporation Town, 1900-1924," in Family and Kin in Urban Communities, 1700-1930, ed. Tamara K. Harevan (New York: Franklin Watts, New Viewpoints, 1977); Heidi Hartmann, "Capitalism, Patriarchy, and Job Segregation by Sex," Signs 1 (Spring 1976): 137-69.

5. LePlay, Family, chs. 8, 20; George Elliott Howard, A History of Matrimonial Institutions, vol. 3 (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, Callaghan and Co., 1904), 225, 232, 258; Charles Horton Cooley, Social Organization (New York: Schocken Books, 1962), ch. 31; Ernest R. Mowrer, The Family (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1932), 14-19; Joseph Kirk Folsom, The Family and Democratic Society (New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1934), 222, 252, 679; Carl N. Degler, At Odds (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1980), 191.

6. Mowrer, Family,22; Ernest W. Burgess and Harvey J. Locke, The Family: From Institution to Companionship (New York: American Book Co., 1950), 289, 324; M. E Nimkoff, The Family (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1934), 202; Goode, Revolution,21; Robert O. Blood and Donald M. Wolfe, Husbands and Wives (New York: Free Press, 1960), 149; Edward Shorter, The Making of the Modern Family (New York: Basic Books, 1977), 15-16.

7. Mowrer, Family, 19-20; Reuben Hill, "Plans for Strengthening Family Life," in Family, Marriage, and Parenthood, ed. Howard Becker

and Reuben Hill (Boston: D. C. Heath, 1948), 782; Paul H. Landis, "The Changing Family," in Readings in Marriage and the Family, ed. Judson T. Landis and Mary G. Landis (New York: Prentice-Hall, 1952), 30; Philip Slater, Footholds (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1968), 40.

8. Nancy Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1978); Parsons, "American Family"; Fred Weinstein and Gerald M. Platt, The Wish to Be Free (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1969); Jessica Benjamin, "The Oedipal Riddle: Authority, Autonomy, and the New Narcissism," in The Problem of Authority in America, ed. John P. Diggins and Mark E. Kann (Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1981), 195-224.

9. See note 6 above.

10. Goode, Revolution, 19; see studies cited by Gary R. Lee, Family Structure and Interaction (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1982), 229 .

11. Shorter, Modern Family, 259. 12. Louise A. Tilly, Joan W. Scott, and Miriam Cohen have persuasively taken this line of argument in criticizing Shorter ("Women's Work and European Fertility Patterns," in The American Family in Social-Historical Perspective, ed. Michael Gordon, 2d ed. [New York: St. Martin's Press, 1978]).

12. Louise A. Tilly, Joan W. Scott, and Miriam Chohen have persuasively taken this line of argument in criticizing Shorter ("Women's Work and European Fertility Patterns," in The American Family in Socio-Historical Perspective, ed. Micahel Gordon, 2d ed. [New York: St. Martin's Press, 1978]).

13. Lawrence Stone, The Family, Sex, and Marriage in England, 1500-2800 (New York: Harper and Row, 1977), 17, 93-102, 268.

14. Ibid., 8.

15. Ibid., 4, 268.

16. Quoted in ibid., 266-67; discussed on 258.

17. Ibid., 268.

18. Edmund S. Morgan, The Puritan Family (New York: Harper and Row, 1944); Mary Beth Norton, Liberty's Daughters (Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1980), 17-25, 79-82.

19. Thomas Bender, Community and Social Change in America (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1978), ch. 3.

20. Nancy E Cott, The Bonds of Womanhood (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1977), 66.

21. Stone, Family, 266.

22. Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America, vol. 2 (New York: Schocken Books, 1961), 248.

23. Georg Simmel, The Sociology of Georg Simmel, ed. Kurt H. Wolff (New York: Free Press, 1950), 325.

24. Barbara Welter, "The Cult of True Womanhood: 1820-1860," in The American Family in Social-Historical Perspective, ed. Michael Gordon, 2d ed. (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1978), 325; see also Mary P.

Ryan, Empire of the Mother (New York: Institute for Research in History, 1982).

25. Cott, Bonds, 88; see also Mary P. Ryan, Cradle of the Middle Class (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1981), chs. 2, 3.

26. Ann Douglas, The Feminization of American Culture (New York: Avon Books, 1977), 86.

27. Nancy F. Cott, "Passionlessness: An Interpretation of Victorian Sexual Ideology," in A Heritage of Her Own, ed. Nancy E Cott and Elizabeth H. Pleck (New York: Simon and Schuster, Touchstone, 1979), 165; Philippe Ariès, Centuries of Childhood (New York: Random House, Vintage Books, 1962), 59-60; Richard Sennett, The Fall of Public Man (New York: Random House, Vintage Books, 1974), 162-68.

28. Cott, Bonds, 98; also see Barbara J. Berg, The Remembered Gate: Origins of American Feminism (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1978), 220-22, 266-68.

29. Shorter, Modern Family, ch. 5; Ariès, Centuries, ch. 2; Jean-Louis Flandrin, Families in Former Times (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1976), 203-7; Elizabeth Badinter, Mother Love (New York: Macmillan, 1981), 39-52, ch. 3.

30. Cott, Bonds, 189-90; on the antipatriarchal impact of Protestantism, see Stone, Family, 135-42, 241.

31. Welter, "True Womanhood."

32. Douglas, Feminization, 66; Mary R Ryan, Womanhood in America from Colonial Times to the Present, 2d ed. (New York: Franklin Watts, New Viewpoints, 1979), 76-77.

33. Cott, "Passionlessness," 173; Linda Gordon, Woman's Body, Woman's Right (New York: Penguin Books, 1974), ch. 5; Daniel Scott Smith, "Family Limitation, Sexual Control, and Domestic Feminism in Victorian America," Feminist Studies 1 (Winter-Spring 1973): 40-57; see also Degler, At Odds,271-78.

34. Mary R Ryan, "The Power of Women's Networks: A Case Study of Female Moral Reform in Antebellum America," Feminist Studies 5 (Spring 1979): 66-87; Ryan, Cradle, ch. 3; Carroll Smith-Rosenberg, "Beauty, the Beast, and the Militant Woman," American Quarterly 23 (1971): 562-84; Berg, Remembered Gate, 134-37; Degler, At Odds,chs . 12, 13.

35. Ryan, Womanhood,142; Degler, At Odds,160-66.

36. Burgess and Locke, Family, 324; Herman Lantz et al., "Pre-industrial Patterns in the Colonial Family in America: A Content Analysis of Colonial Magazines," American Sociological Review 33 (1968): 413-26; Blood and Wolfe, Husbands and Wives, 148-49.

37. Goode, Revolution, 19; Stone, Family, ch. 7; Shorter, Modern

Family, ch. 4; Daniel Scott Smith, "Parental Power and Marriage Patterns: An Analysis of Historical Trends in Hingham, Massachusetts," Journal of Marriage and the Family 35 (1973): 419-28.

38. Stone suggests that these changes showed up first among the English gentry, spread to American colonials, and later to the French and Italians. Free choice developed first among the "common people," say Shorter and Stone; they had no fortunes to control. Stone, however, astutely focuses on implications for "companionship" that the abrupt change in courtship offered the upper middle classes; companionship flourished there with other ideological and sentimental trends that were not typical of the working classes (Stone, Family, 320-24, 390-91). After Stone and Shorter, others have entered the debate with historical data that have made the question of priority even harder to resolve; their contributions include readings in R. B. Outhwaite, ed., Marriage and Society (London: Europa, 1983).

39. Stone, Family, 272-74; Shorter, Modern Family, 15-16, 259-60; Ian Watt, The Rise of the Novel (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1957), 138-39, 177.

40. Tocqueville, Democracy, 235.

41. Similar, but not identical. Even as formally free agents during a period of relative autonomy, women experienced an ambivalent, asymmetrical individualism. Economically, they had to marry. Tocqueville remarked that an American girl "had learned by the use of her independence, to surrender it without a struggle" for a married life of exceptional "abnegation" (Tocqueville, 24o-41).

42. Degler, At Odds, 20; Cott, Bonds, 78-80; Willystine Goodsell, "The American Family in the Nineteenth Century," Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Sciences 160 (1932): 13-22; Frank E Furstenberg, Jr., "Industrialization and the American Family: A Look Backward," American Sociological Review 31 (1966): 326-37.

43. David Hunt, Parents and Children in History (New York: Harper and Row, 1970), 79.

44. John Demos, A Little Commonwealth (London: Oxford University Press, 1970), 83; Morgan, Puritan Family, 48-54; Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Good Wives (New York: Alfred Knopf, 1982), 109.

45. Stone, Family, 272; Watt, Novel, 137-39.

46. Peter Gay, The Tender Passion (London: Oxford University Press, 1986); Degler, At Odds, 16.

47. Watt, Novel, ch. 5.

48. Gay, Tender Passion.

49. Degler, At Odds, ch. 2; Cott, Bonds, 22, 72; Carroll Smith-Rosenberg, "The Female World of Love and Ritual: Relations between

Women in Nineteenth-Century America," in A Heritage of Her Own, ed. Nancy E Cott and Elizabeth H. Pleck (New York: Simon and Schuster, Touchstone, 1979), 331.

50. Smith-Rosenberg, "Female World," 322-23, 327-28; Degler, At Odds, 108.

51. Ellen Rothman, Hands and Hearts: A History of Courtship in America (New York: Basic Books, 1984), 63, 75; Steven M. Stowe, "The Thing Is Not Its Vision: A Woman's Courtship and Her Sphere in the Southern Planter Class," Feminist Studies 9 (Spring 1983): 128; Cott, Bonds, 80; also see Smith-Rosenberg, "Female World," 326.

52. Graves and Carlier, quoted in Goodsell, "American Family;" see also Furstenberg, "Industrialization," 332.

53. Tocqueville, Democracy, 247-48; Furstenberg, "Industrialization," 332.

54. John Mack Faragher, Women and Men on the Overland Trail (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1979), 147-51.

55. Elaine Tyler May, Great Expectations (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1980), 47.

56. Degler, At Odds, chs. 2, 7.

57. Laseh, Haven, 106.

58. Degler, At Odds, 26-29; Cott, Bonds, ch. 2; Eli Zaretsky, Capitalism, the Family, and Personal Life (New York: Harper and Row, Colophon Books, 1973), 66.

59. Shorter, Modern Family, 205-6, 227.

60. Ibid., 16, 166.

61. Burgess and Locke, Family, 203.

62. Ibid., 324. Works emphasizing romance: William L. Kolb, cited in William J. Goode, "The Theoretical Importance of Love," in The Family, ed. Rose Laub Coser, 2d ed. (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1974), 144; emphasizing partnership: Burgess and Locke, Family, ch. 11; Nimkoff, Family, 251; emphasizing complementarity: Kephart, Family, 465; Parsons, "American Family," 80-81; David R. Miller and Guy E. Swanson, The Changing American Family (New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1958), 200-201; emphasizing communication: see Goode, "Love"; and Sherod Miller, Ramon Corales, and Daniel B. Wackman, "Recent Progress in Understanding Marital Communication," Family Coordinator 24 (1975): 143.

63. Harvey J. Locke, Predicting Adjustment in Marriage (New York: Greenwood Press, 1968), 251; Ernest W. Burgess and Leonard S. Cott-well, Jr., Predicting Sources of Failure in Marriage (New York: Prentice-Hall, 1939); Gerald Gurin, Joseph Veroff, and Sheila Feld, Americans View Their Mental Health (New York: Basic Books, 1960), 101-10; Jessie

Bernard, The Future of Marriage (New York: Bantam Books, 1976), chs. 1-3; Joseph Veroff, Elizabeth Douvan, and Richard A. Kulka, The Inner American (New York: Basic Books, 1981), 24, 164, 178.

64. Robert S. Lynd and Helen Merrell Lynd, Middletown (New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1929), 118, 311.

65. Kephart, Family, 465; see also John R. Seeley, R. Alexander Sim, and E. W. Loosley, Crestwood Heights (New York: Basic Books, 1956), 217-18, 382; Lillian Rubin, Intimate Strangers (New York: Harper and Row, 1983).

66. Hill, "Plans," 782; see also Slater, Footholds, 40; Folsom, Family, 190.

67. Louis Wirth, "Urbanism as a Way of Life," American Journal of Sociology 44 (1938): 13; Nisbet, Quest, 31.

68. Ariès, Centuries, part 3; Shorter, Modern Family, 5, 39-53; Flandrin, Former Times, ch. 2.

69. Demos, Commonwealth, 49-50; Lutz Berkener, "The Stem Family and the Developmental Cycle of the Peasant Household: An 18th-Century Austrian Example," in The American Family in Social-Historical Perspective, ed. Michael Gordon, 2d ed. (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1973), 37-38; Alexander Keyssar, "Widowhood in Eighteenth-Century Massachusetts: A Problem in the History of the Family," Perspectives in American History 8 (1974): 83-122; Flandrin, Former Times, 36; Stone, Family, 268; Shorter, Modern Family, 5-6, chs. 1, 2; Claude S. Fischer et al., Networks and Places (New York: Free Press, 1977), ch. 10.

70. Lionel Trilling, Sincerity and Authenticity (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1980).

71. Michael Anderson, Family Structure in Nineteenth-Century Lancashire (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1971), ch. 9; Harevan, "Family Time."

72. Harevan, "Family Time," 156.

73. Sally Griffen and Clyde Griffen, "Family and Business in a Small City: Poughkeepsie, New York, 1850-1880," in Family and Kin in Urban Communities, 1700-1930, ed. Tamara K. Harevan (New York: Franklin Watts, New Viewpoints, 1977).

74. Stone, Family, 268; Cott, Bonds, ch. 5; Simmel, Sociology, 325; Philippe Ariès, "The Family and the City," in The Family, ed. Virginia Tufte and Barbara Myerhoff (New York: W W. Norton and Co., 1978), 33-36.

75. Stone, Family; see also, Watt, Novel, ch. 5; and Sennett, Public Man, chs. 4, 5.

76. Michael Young and Peter Willmott, Family and Kinship in East London (Baltimore: Penguin Books, 1957), 188-90; Michael Young and

Peter Willmott, The Symmetrical Family (New York: Penguin Books, 1973), 91; Anderson, Family Structure, 178; Bender, Community, 71, 96.

77. Ryan, Cradle, chs. 3, 5, 236-37; Bender, Community, 79-100; Berg, Remembered Gate; Gerda Lerner, "Community Work of Black Club Women," Journal of Negro History 59 (April 1974): 158-67; Paula Giddings, When and Where I Enter (Toronto: Bantam Books, 1985), chs.

3-6; Sennett, Public Man, chs. 4, 5.

78. Ryan, Cradle.

79. Ibid., 236-38; Berg, Remembered Gate; for Europe, Ariès, "Family and City," 36-38.

80. Gunther Barth, City People (New York: Oxford University Press, 1980), 121, 129, 146.

81. Susan Strasser, Never Done (New York: Random House, Pantheon Books, 1982); Stuart Ewen, Captains of Consciousness (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1976); Lynd and Lynd, Middletown, 173, 253, ch. 18; Robert S. Lynd and Helen Merrell Lynd, Middletown in Transition (New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1937), 245, 247-48, 267.

82. William H. Whyte, Jr., "The Wife Problem," in Selected Studies in Marriage and the Family, ed. Robert Winch, 2d ed. (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1962), 111-25; Seeley, Crestwood, 135-36.

83. Herbert Gans, The Levittowners (New York: Random House, Pantheon Books, 1967), 154-62; William H. Whyte, Jr., The Organization Man (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday and Co., Anchor Books, 1956), 378, 389, 394; Helena Z. Lopata, Occupation Housewife (London: Oxford University Press, 1971), 241, 269-71; Nicholas Babchuk and Alan P. Bates, "The Primary Relations of Middle-Class Couples: A Study in Male Dominance," American Sociological Review 28 (1963): 377-85.

84. Nisbet, Quest; Folsom, Family, 190.

85. See Degler, At Odds, 145; Margaret Jones Bolsterli, "It Seems to Help Me Bear It Better When She Knows About It," Southern Exposure (March/April 1983): 58-61.

86. Smith-Rosenberg, "Female World"; Lillian Faderman, Surpassing the Love of Men (New York: William Morrow and Co., 1981); Cott, Bonds, ch. 5; Stone, Family, 336, 722, 386, 400-403.

87. Flandrin, Former Times, 36; Nathalie Zemon Davis, Society and Culture in Early Modern France (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1965), 75; Mary P. Ryan, Womanhood in America from Colonial Times to the Present, 2d ed. (New York: Franklin Watts, New Viewpoints, 1979), 36; Martine Segalen, Love and Power in the Peasant Family (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1983), 138; Ulrich, Good Wives, 109.

88. Barbara Welter, "The Feminization of American Religion: 1800-1860," in Clio's Consciousness Raised, ed. Mary Hartman and Lois W.

Banner (New York: Harper and Row, Torch Books, 1974); Cott, Bonds, 126.

89. Cott, "Passionlessness," 173.

90. Cott, Bonds, 97; see also Degler, At Odds, chs. 4, 5; Welter, "True Womanhood," 326.

91. Cott, Bonds, ch. 5; Ryan, Cradle; Berg, Remembered Gate; Smith-Rosenberg, "Beauty." As Mary Ryan argues (in Cradle) voluntary organizations enabled women to define new bourgeois family ideals during this social transition.

92. On the literature of domesticity, see Douglas, Feminization; Degler, At Odds, 378-79. On female versus male sensibilities, see Cott, Bonds,67-70, 98, 190; Douglas, Feminization, 54; Berg, Remembered Gate, 136.

93. Cott, Bonds, 105, 117; Degler, At Odds, 307.

94. Smith-Rosenberg, "Female World," 315, 328; Cott, Bonds, 173-78.

95. Cott, Bonds, 173; Faderman, Surpassing, 74-76.

96. Quoted in Faderman, Surpassing, 172.

97. Faderman, Surpassing, 145-204; Cott, Bonds, 185.

98. Smith-Rosenberg, "Female World," 320.

99. Ibid., 314.

100. Cott, Bonds, 176.

101. Degler, At Odds, 147.

102. Degler, At Odds, 149; Rothman, Hands and Hearts, 339.

103. Faderman, Surpassing, 82; Smith-Rosenberg, "Female World," 317; Degler, At Odds, 146; Cott, Bonds, 190.

104. Welter, "True Womanhood," 327.

105. Cott, Bonds, 80-81.

106. Lynd and Lynd, Middletown, 111; Faderman, Surpassing, 298; Paula S. Fass, The Damned and the Beautiful (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1977), ch. 3; Niles Carpenter, "Courtship Practices and Contemporary Social Change in America," Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Sciences 160 (1932), 38-44; John Modell, "Dating Becomes the Way of American Youth," in Essays on the Family and Social Change, ed. David Levine (Arlington: University of Texas Press, 1983), 91-127; Outhwaite, Marriage and Society.

107. Degler, At Odds, 150; Faderman, Surpassing, 308.

108. Faderman, Surpassing, 90, 229, 298; Nancy Sahli, "Smashing: Women's Relationships before the Fall," Chrysalis 8 (Summer 1979).

109. Folsom, Family, 39, 563; Christine Simmons, "Companionate Marriage and the Lesbian Threat," Frontiers 4 (1979): 54-59.

110. Nimkoff, Family, 251; see also Lasch, Haven, ch. 2.

111. Ewen, Captains; May, Great Expectations, ch. 8.

112. Locke, Predicting, 233; Burgess and Cottrell, Sources of Failure, 129; Kephart, Family, 465; Mirra Komarovsky, Blue-Collar Marriage (New York: Random House, Vintage Books, 1967), ch. 12; Gans, Levittowners, ch. 8; Marjorie Fiske Lowenthal, Four Stages of Life (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1975), chs. 1, 2.

113. Theodore Caplow et al., Middletown Families: Fifty Years of Change and Continuity (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1982), 125.