Appendix B: Interview
Among these questions that make up my interview, some come from the Northern California Communities Study, conducted in 1977 by Claude S. Fischer, University of California, Berkeley.
1. How long have you lived in this neighborhood?
2. How long have you lived in this town?
3. Where did you live when you were growing up?
4. Tell me a little about yourself.
5. Would you tell me all the names of the people who live in this household—adults and children.
Is this person male or female?
How is [] connected to you? How old is []?
How long have you known []?
Is [] single, married, divorced, separated, or widowed?
Is [] working? Part-time or full-time?
6. Who are the people you'd describe as most a part of your life?
7. (If single:) Do you have a fiancé or a special friend you're dating or seeing a lot of? (Name)
8. Tell me a little about your [husband, boyfriend, companion].
9. Tell me a little about your family [or kin].
10. Tell me a little about your friends.
11. Do you have any immediate family—parents, children, brothers, sisters, in-laws—living in this area, say within an hour's drive from here? How many?
12. Counting all your relatives (and your partner's relatives, if you
think of them as kin), about how many adult relatives live in this area?
13. How often do you visit or go out with someone who's a relative?
14. How many relatives do you think of as friends?
15. Do you ever visit with or go out with someone who's a neighbor? How often?
16. (If yes:) How many of your neighbors do you think of as friends?
(If respondent has job:)
17. What kind of work do you do? (Do you have more than one job?)
18. What are your working hours?
19. How many others work in the same office or work space?
20. Are any of them doing exactly the same job that you do?
21. How long have you been working there?
22. Some people don't talk about work—either on or off the job. Others discuss, with co-workers, friends, or family, things like work problems, or daily work events, or feelings about work. Is there anyone you talk with about your work? Who?
23. In the last three months, have you visited with anyone at your home or theirs, or gone out with anyone for a meal or a movie, or some other recreation? May I have the first names of these people?
24. (If in couple:) Do you and [partner] ever go out with or get to- gether with other couples? What are the names of these couples?
(For each couple:) How did you meet them? Who usually arranges these social times?
25. When you are concerned about a personal matter—for example, about someone you're close to or something you're worried about—how often do you talk about it with someone: usually, sometimes, or hardly ever?
26. When you do talk with someone about personal matters, with whom do you talk?
27. Sometimes people turn to others for advice in making important decisions about their lives—for example, decisions about relation-ships, family, or work. Is there anyone whose advice or opinion you consider seriously in making important decisions? Who?
(Record the following responses on a matrix:)
28. To whom would you say you feel closest? I'm going to write down their first names. (List names on matrix.)
Anyone you feel closest to, whether they're nearby or far away?
Are there any others you would say you feel closest to?
(For each name on list:)
29. Is this person male or female?
30. How is this person connected to you?
31. How long have you known her/him?
32. How did you first meet?
33. How old is she/he?
34. Is she/he single, married, divorced, separated, or widowed?
35. How often do you see her/him?
36. How long does it take to drive to her/his home?
37. How often do you talk on the phone?
(Show respondent the matrix.)
38. Some people are connected in a number of ways. They may be relatives and neighbors, or neighbors and co-workers. (Card lists categories of relation.) What are all the ways [name on list] is connected to you?
39. Do any of these people work? Is that part-time or full-time?
40. Do any of these people do the same kind of work as you? (or) Are any of these people full-time homemakers?
41. Do you have a religion? (If not:) Were you brought up in a religion?
42. (If yes:) Are any of these people also [religion]?
43. Some people describe themselves by their race, ethnicity, or national background. How would you describe yourself?
44. Are any of these people also [race/ethnicity]?
45. Is there any particular activity—like a club, association, sport, or spare-time interest—that you devote time to or find especially interesting?
46. Are any of these people also involved in [activity]?
47. Are any of these people in about the same income level as you?
48. Thinking of everyone you know, is there one person you feel closest to?
49. (If husband/boyfriend/parent/child:) Other than [], is there one person you feel closest to?
50. Can you tell me a little about [closest person]?
51. Would you say [closest person] is your best friend?
52. (If not:) Do you have a best friend? Can you tell me a little. . ..
53. Why did you become close friends with [closest friend]?
54. What do you like best or find most special about [closest friend]?
55. Can you think of areas you can talk about with [closest friend] that you can't discuss as well with your husband/boyfriend?
56. Are there some things you could tell [closest friend] that you wouldn't discuss at all with your husband/boyfriend?
57. Can you think of areas you can talk about with your husband/boyfriend that you can't discuss as well with [closest friend]?
58. Are there some things you could tell [husband/boyfriend] that you wouldn't discuss at all with [closest friend]?
59. (a) How does your husband/boyfriend feel about [closest friend]? Would you say he likes her, dislikes her, or doesn't feel either way?
(b) Would you say he approves of your friendship, disapproves, or doesn't feel either way?
(c) Is there anything about your friendship that he disapproves of?
60. (a) Do you trust [best friend]?
(b) Why? How did you come to trust her?
(c) Did anything ever happen to make you feel special trust? Did she ever do or say anything that made you especially trust her?
(d) Has she ever done anything that made you trust her less?
61. (a) Can you think of a time that [best friend] disappointed you? What happened?
(b) How did yon feel?
(c) At the time, how did you think you should feel?
(d) Did that experience change your feelings about her in any way?
62. How does [closest friend] feel about [husband/boyfriend]? Would you say she likes him, dislikes him, or doesn't feel either way?
63. Is there anything about your marriage/relationship with your boy-friend that she disapproves of?
64. Have you ever been good friends with someone [husband/boy-friend] disliked or disapproved of? Can you tell me a little about that?
65. Has [husband/boyfriend] ever tried to discourage one of your friendships?
66. In general when you talk over a difficulty or disagreement with [husband/boyfriend], how often have you talked about it first with a friend or someone close: a lot of the time, some of the time, once in a while, or never?
67. Think back to the last time you and [husband/boyfriend] talked over a big difficulty or disagreement. Had you discussed it before-hand with anyone? Who?
68. What are some ways that your friends have helped you when you had difficulties with your husband/boyfriend?
69. Can you think of a time when talking with your friends changed your attitude toward your husband/boyfriend?
70. Can you think of a time when talking with your friends changed your feelings about a dispute or disagreement with your husband/boyfriend?
71. Can you think of some ways [closest friend] has helped you keep your marriage/relationship together?
72. If [closest friend] asked you to keep secret something you really wanted to share with your husband/boyfriend, how would you deal with that?
73. If [husband/boyfriend] asked you to keep secret something you really wanted to share with [closest friend], how would you deal with that?
74. (a) Have you and [husband/boyfriend] ever disagreed about where or when you ought to be able to go out with a friend or what you ought to be able to talk about?
(b) Have you ever disagreed about [closest friend]?
75. (a) Have you ever felt you had to choose between [husband/boy-friend] and [closest friend]?
(b) Have you ever felt you had to choose between your family and your friend?
(c) (If yes to [b]:) How often do you feel you have to choose between your family and your friend: a lot of the time, some of the time, or once in a while?
76. How do you keep your obligations toward your friend from competing with your obligations to your family/relationship with [boy-friend]?
77. (a) Can you think of a time when friends ever tried to "talk you into" feeling better about [husband/boyfriend]—that is, when they've been more positive toward him than you were?
(b) (If yes to [a]:) How often does this happen: a lot of the time, some of the time, or once in a while?
78. (a) Can you think of a time when friends ever tried to "talk you into" feeling worse about [husband/boyfriend]—that is, when they've been more negative toward him than you were?
(b) (If yes to [a]:) How often does this happen: a lot of the time, some of the time, or once in a while?
79. When problems are on your mind, how often do you talk about it with friends: a lot of the time, some of the time, once in a while, or never?
(a) problems raising children
(b) problems in the marriage
(c) how to talk to [husband/boyfriend] about something
(d) marital sex life
(e) problems with work
(f) feelings of unhappiness
(g) (not used)
(h) future dreams and ambitions
(i) feelings that family or household makes too many demands on you
(j) financial difficulties
(k) problems with other friends
(l) feelings of anger
(m) feelings about love
(n) your husband's job or work
(o) opinions about the news or politics
(p) feelings of self-doubt
(q) moral or religious beliefs
80. (a) Can you think of some kinds of things you care about or need from a relationship that only your women friends provide?
(b) Do these things make your marriage/relationship with your boyfriend work more smoothly; do they interfere; both; or neither?
81. (a) What are the kinds of things you care about or need from a relationship that only a husband/boyfriend can provide?
(b) If you weren't married/in a relationship with [boyfriend], to whom would you look for these things?
82. (a) Has there ever been a time during your marriage/relationship with your boyfriend when you had no close women friends?
(b) How did you feel about that?
(c) Did marriage satisfy your needs for friendship?
(d) How did this affect your marriage/relationship with [boy-friend]?
(e) Did you feel anything was missing from your life? How did you think you should feel?
(f) (not used)
(g) Do you think your marriage/relationship benefited in any way?
(h) Do you think your marriage/relationship was harmed in any way?
(i) Who became your first close friend after that period?
(j) How did you meet?
(k) How was your daily life affected by this friendship?
(1) How much time did you spend together?
(m) Did your daily routines change?
(n) How did this new friendship affect your state of mind at the time?
(o) Did you tell your husband/boyfriend about your new friendship?
(p) How did this new friendship affect your marriage/relationship
with your boyfriend? How did it affect your feelings about [husband/boyfriend]?
(q) How did [husband/boyfriend] react to your new friendship?
(r) Can you think of ways your marriage/relationship benefited from your new friendship?
(s) Can you think of ways your marriage/relationship was harmed by your new friendship?
83. (If married:) If your marriage ended, what do you feel your biggest problems would be as an unmarried person?
(If has boyfriend:) If your relationship with [boyfriend] ended, what do you feel your biggest problems would be as a single person?
(If divorced:) When your marriage ended, what were your biggest problems as an unmarried person?
84. (If married/boyfriend:) How do you think your friends would react? Would they feel or behave differently?)
(If divorced:) How did your friends react?
85. What would/did you miss most in your life?
86. (If single:) (If recently coupled, begin, "Thinking back" . . .) Can you think of ways that talking with friends makes it easier or harder to get along in a new relationship with a man?
87. Have friends ever helped out when a relationship with a man ended?
88. (a) Did a relationship with a man ever end when you had no friend to talk to?
(b) (If yes:) How did you feel then?
(c) (If no:) if a relationship ended when you had no friends to talk to about it, how would you feel?
89. I'd like to ask you for any of the people you think of when I ask you these questions. Just give me the first names that come to your mind. They can be adults or children, husband, family, friends, or anyone, whether nearby or far away.
Is there anyone. . .
1. who cheers you up when you're sad?
2. to whom you can talk about very persona] problems?
3. who does regular child care or baby-sitting?
4. who would take care of you when you're ill?
5. who allows you to be completely yourself?
6. who makes you feel lovable?
7. who encourages you to try out new experiences or things?
8. to whom you've told things that you've never told anyone else?
9. whom you'd like to see every day?
10. who often makes you feel good about yourself?
11. whom you'd go out of your way to help out?
12. to whom you can show your worst side and know they'll still like you?
13. who usually makes you feel completely comfortable and at ease?
14. who recognizes your talents and abilities?
15. who can comfort you when you cry?
16. who would keep your most important secret?
17. whom you could call in the middle of the night, in case of emergency?
18. with whom you can tell private jokes?
19. to whom you expect you'll be close ten or twenty years from now?
20. with whom you can easily talk about your important beliefs?
21. to whom you can confide something you're ashamed of?
22. whom you'd try to help out of a serious problem, even if it meant a sacrifice on your part?
23. who knows and likes the real you?
24. who likes to hear something you're proud of?
25. about whom you would use the word "love" to describe your feelings?
26. whom you've seen the worst side of, and still care about a lot?
27. whom you can argue with and still remain close to?
28. who respects you as much as you respect them (a lot)?
29. whose personal problems you really take to heart?
30. from whom you don't mind hearing advice, even when you haven't asked for it?
31. who understands you better than anyone else?
32. who shares your most important values?
33. with whom you can talk about sex?
34. with whom you laugh a lot?
90. (a) Are there subjects or areas of life you would never talk about with [best friend]?
(b) What kinds of areas are these?
91. (a) Are there things you would never ask of [best friend]?
(b) What kinds of things are these?
92. (a) Has [best friend] ever tried to talk to you about issues or problems you didn't want to hear about or talk about?
(b) How did you react?
(c) (If no:) Has any close friend ever . . .
93. (a) Has [best friend] ever asked for more from you than a friend should ask?
(b) How did you respond?
(c) (If no:) Has any close friend ever . . .
94. (a) Has [best friend] ever made you feel like you've just had enough?
(b) What was the situation? How did you react? How do you feel about it now?
(c) (If no:) Has any close friend ever. . .
95. (a) How satisfied are you with your friendships?
(b) Is there anything about your friendships or friends that you wish were different?
(c) If you could have exactly the kind of social life or friendships or close friends you'd want, what would that be like?
96. Do you ever wish you had more friends you felt close to? Would you say this happens a lot of the time, some of the time, only once in a while, or never?
97. Do you ever wish you had more friends to have fun with? (Repeat choice.)
98. Do you ever wish you had more friends you could talk to about personal matters or feelings or problems? (Repeat choice.)
99. Do you ever wish you knew more people you could rely on for help—say, help with work, or around the house, or help in emergencies? (Repeat choice.)
100. Now I'd like to ask you some questions comparing men's and women's friendships. Just answer, "men" or "women" or "no difference." In general,
(a) who have more friends, men or women, or no difference? (Repeat choice.)
(b) whose friendships are closer. . .
(c) who make new friendships more easily. . .
(d) who are more loyal to their friends. . .
(e) who depend more on their friends. . .
(f) whose friendships are more emotional. . .
(g) who are more likely to argue with friends. . .
(h) who would try harder to cheer up a friend who's sad. . .
(i) who need close friends more. . .
(j) who turn to friends to solve personal problems more. . .
(k) who are more likely to be jealous of a spouse or fiancé's friends. . .
(l) whose friendships are more competitive. . .
(m) who spend more time with friends . . .
(n) who are more dependable as friends. . .
(o) who talk more about personal feelings with friends. . .
(p) who talk more about private details about marriage. . .
(q) who are more likely to be envious of a friend. . .
(r) who would be more likely to lend money to a friend. . .
(s) whose friendships last longer. . .
(t) whose friendships break up more easily. . .
(u) who are more likely to have one best friend. . .
(v) who are more likely to keep friends from childhood. . .
(w) who are more likely to trust friends. . .
(101-106: Ask if appropriate.)
101. (a) What were the names of your close women friends before you were married, when you were first seeing [husband]?
(b) Are you still friends with any of them?
(c) Are you still close with any of them?
(d) Can you tell me a little about what happened in those friend-ships once you were engaged/married?
(e) How did you feel about [friend]?
(f) How did you think you should feel?
102. (a) Can you think of a time that a dose friendship changed when your friend got married?
(b) How did you feel at the time?
(e) How did you think you should feel?
l03. (a) What were the names of your close women friends before you had your first child?
(b) Are you still friends with any of them?
(c) Are any of them close friends?
(d) Can you tell me a little about what happened in those friend-ships once your first child was born?
(e) How did you think you should feel?
l04. (a) What were the names of your close women friends just before your divorce?
(b–e: Same subquestions.)
l05. Would you say you had more close friends before you were married/engaged/with [boyfriend], fewer close friends, or about the same?
l06. Would you say you had more close friends before your first child was born, fewer close friends, or about the same?
Now I'd like to ask your opinion about friendships in general.
(Give respondent card listing choices: always, sometimes, or hardly ever. Probe, "When, for example, . . .")
l07. Should friends expect each other's first loyalty to be to a husband?
108. Does a friend have the right to ask an important favor that is likely to create conflicts or problems at home for the woman she's asking help from?
109. Do friends have the right to change a woman's attitude or belief, or way of doing things?
110. Do friends have the right to criticize the way a woman's husband or boyfriend treats her?
111. Do friends have the right to tell a woman her behavior is immoral and wrong?
112. Do friends have the right to criticize the way a woman raises her children?
113. If a friend seemed to be in trouble emotionally—having a break-down—would her friends have a responsibility to try to get help for her?
114. If a woman were being beaten by her husband, would her friends have a responsibility to take her in if she asks?
115. If a friend were ill, or somehow unable to care for her children, would her friends have a responsibility to care for them?
116. If a friend were beating or abusing her children, would her friends have a responsibility to stop it?
117. In this same case, if all else failed, would they have a responsibility to call police or some outside agency?
118. (a) Did you have close friendships with other girls when you were in high school?
(b) Were these friendships an important part of your life then? Would you say they were very important, somewhat important, or not very important?
(c) How were close friendships in high school different from close friendships now?
119-120. (not used)
121. If you didn't have close friends right now, how would that affect you?
122. How would it affect your marriage?
123. To whom would you say your husband is closest? (List on matrix and, for each name, record the following information:)
(a) Is this person male or female?
(b) How is this person connected to him?
(c) How long has he known him/her?
(d) How did they first meet?
(e) Is he/she single, married, divorced, separated, or widowed?
(f) How often does he see him/her?
(g) How often do they talk on the phone?
(Show list:)
(h) How many are kin?
(i) How many are co-workers?
(j) How many are neighbors?
(k) How many has he known since childhood?
(I) How many has he known only a few years or less?
124. In what ways are [husband's/boyfriend's] close friendships different from yours?
125. Do you think he talks personally with close friends more than you do, less, or about the same?
126. Do you think he depends on his close friends more than you do, less, or about the same?
127. Do you think he feels closer to his close friends than you do, less close, or about the same?
128. Do you think he's more loyal to his close friends than you are, less loyal, or about the same?
129. Do you think his close friends are more loyal to him than yours are to you, less loyal, or about the same?
130. Do you think it's easier for him to ask help from his close friends, less easy, or about the same?
131. What kinds of things do you think he talks about or shares with his close friends that he doesn't talk about or share with you?
132. Can you think of a time when you felt jealous of [husband's/boyfriend's] close friendship with someone? (How did you think you should feel?)
133. Which of you could get along better without close friends if you were in a situation where you had to?
133-x. (For each question read alternatives: a lot of the time, some of the time, only once in a while, never.)
(a) About how often do you feel that the people you live with make too many demands on you these days?
(b) About how often do you feel that your friends and (other) relatives make too many demands on you?
(c) How often do you feel unhappy or a bit depressed these days?
(d) How often do you feel overwhelmed—that there is too much going on in your life for you to handle?
(e) How often do you feel particularly excited about or interested in something these days?
(f) How often do things get on your nerves so much that you feel like losing your temper?
(g) How often do you find that you have time on your hands with little to do?
(h) How often do you feel that things are going the way you want them to?
(i) How often do you feel nervous, fidgety, or tense these days?
(j) How often do you feel pleased with what you're doing these days?
(k) How often do you feel you are boiling inside with anger because of others these days?
(1) How often do you feel worried or upset?
133-y. (a) Have you and [husband] been having any trouble getting along in the last year?
(b) (If yes:) How serious would you say these difficulties are: very serious, somewhat serious, or not too serious?
133-z. (a) Have you had any financial problems?
(b) (If yes:) How serious would you say they are: very serious, somewhat serious, or not too serious?
134. What was the highest grade or year you completed in school? (If college:) What was the highest degree you received?
135. (Show respondent card listing income categories.) Would you give me the letter of the income group that includes your personal income before taxes? Choose the figure that includes all your income: wages, salaries, interest, benefits, child support, and all other income.
136. Would you give me the letter of the income group that includes your household income before taxes? Choose the figure that includes all your household's income: wages, salaries, interest, benefits, child support, and all other income.
137. (If respondent has no job:)
(a) What kind of work did you do at your last job?
(b) When was that?
(c) How long did you do that work?
(d) What was the job before that?
138. What kind of work is [husband/boyfriend] doing now?
139. Was your father working while you were growing up? What kind of work did he do?
140. Was your mother working while you were growing up? What kind of work did she do?
(Open discussion, to ask respondent for impressions of interview and topics she would have included.)