Ritual Friendship and Fictive Kinship
As elsewhere in South Asia, the patrilineal kin group can be extended through a ritual in which a man's close male friend becomes his "ritual brother," and, in a special Newar emphasis, a girl's female friend may become her "ritual sister." In becoming ritual siblings, they become subject to the same marriage restrictions, at least in relation to close kin, as a biological or classificatory "brother" or "sister." This ritual friend or fictive sibling is called a twae . A man refers to or respectfully calls his twae "twae ju " (ju is a term of respect), while a woman calls hers "twae bhata ."[45] Women conventionally and usually form these relationships at the time of their mock-marriages, whereas men form them at any time during their lives. The formation of ritual friendship was very common for both sexes in the past, but it is now less common for men. It allowed men to further cement a friendship (friendships, in their contrast to the heavy moral pressures and emphases on correct behavior in kin relations, are of particular importance for people in Bhaktapur), or, for men in business, to put a business relationship on a kin-like basis.[46]Twae ju and twae bhata are invited to major phuki feasts, and may optionally be included in smaller phuki feasts or non-Tantric ceremonies.
Twae relations have one interesting peculiarity. They do not have to be at the same macrostatus level and are often, in fact, outside of the level within which one can marry or share boiled rice and pulses—although they would not be made between clean and unclean levels. This means that like friendship itself and like the mock-marriage, they are part of a larger segment of Bhaktapur life and symbolism that is organized in contrast and sometimes in opposition to its otherwise orthodox Brahmanical hierarchical structure.