Gender Difference

So far we have been discussing interaction at Fuji-no-Sato as though it were gender-neutral, but this is far from true. Men tended to maintain considerable distance in their interactions through the use of formality and self-restraint, whereas women tended to be much more socially active, both in the beneficial sense of friendly interaction and in the destructive sense of gossiping. Interactions between the sexes were relatively few and tended to be highly functionally specific. Both men and women tried to avoid much contact with the opposite sex, not only because the culture as a whole tends to restrict heterosexual contact to certain very specific role sets but because the residents (especially women) had a profound fear of gossip.

On the whole, interaction among men was so limited and shallow that one Sometimes had the impression that friendship did not exist among them. They typically chose their vocabulary from the highest levels of politeness and formality, for example. This linguistic habit is difficult for a non-Japanese speaker to visualize; but some of the flavor may come through if one imagines a conversation between two English bankers, each of whom believes the other to be a member of the royal family. Favored conversation topics were very general political and social issues or problems with the management of the community. Men often characterized their mutual relations simply by saying, "We respect one another."

Casual interaction among women, although problematic, was much more evident (more frequent, diverse, and intimate in tone), probably because women's socialization and adult roles permit somewhat less formal interactions at level two.